All the ideas and views presented here are my interpretation of landmark forum and must have got its own flavor. This can just be one of the perceptions of life and supposed to help as a reference.
Here are few questions that can help you to consider going for landmark forum or read this article.
Do you start judging people as soon as you see them?
Do you have a deep inner craving for something and you have been procrastinating?
Do you find uncomfortable to talk to few people?
Do you sometimes want to say something but end up saying something else?
Do you think at times you are not expressive enough?
Do you think you have much more potential?
Do you think I have everything perfect, but there is this one little thing that keeps me bothering all the time?
The transition or transformation is not magic. It is just a decision that happens in a spark of a second and you find yourself on the other side of the edge. You had returned back from that edge several times, but never been able to cross it. It takes just a little more courage to cross it and the moment you do it you are a completely different person. It’s not that you won’t have dilemma in your life, once you do that but then you would be able to see things much clearly and the decision would be quicker and more confident.
What it has for you:
A forum like Landmark cannot be the thing to give you all solutions. There can be number of such coaching, personality or self development courses. But then what matters is, play this as a game. What am I got to lose? Some times in life just try having a blind faith. Just follow the instruction and then it’s the real fun, behave as if, you are newly born, and you don’t know anything about life and just enjoy the game.
Landmark, The forum generally operates in the area; you don’t know what you don’t know. The rationale behind this is most of the views or pictures that you have formed about life and people and even about yourself are quiet judgmental and based on your own past and opinions. When you say “I am lazy or I am not confident” is just one of the views of you, about yourself. But people tend to label or create fix images about self or other people or even group of people or cultures and then remove or shut few other possibilities.
This is what creates a web of truths and myths around us. Just knowing and recognizing this fact is so powerful that subconsciously you will always have space for other new possibilities, rather than becoming a victim of your own assumptions and perceptions. So when you say “This guy is really being adamant”, internally you are aware that he might be a real nice guy in some other circumstances.
It’s your inner voice which says that “You would behave in this particular manner in this particular circumstances”, but if you really step out of this frame and try to look at it from different angle you might have 10 different options or possibilities. You would have choice in this case and more power and control over the actions that you take.
When I got into the forum, it was just another personality development course for me and I was looking for answers to few of my daily life problems. When the forum started, I was more confused with the jargon that they used and talked about things like possibilities, enrollment, distinctions, strong suites etc.
But then as the forum progressed and I started playing it as a game, keeping the past behind, removing my fix way of looking at things and following the instructions blindly, I realized it’s so simple. That is the moment I realized, why kids are so fast to get the core of the conversation. We keep analyzing words, implications and the overall context, while kids always have a clean slate and you can just throw anything at them and they would just catch it.
That is the point, I realized that life is not about analyzing every action or creating your own theories about life. It’s just a game and keeps it as simple as possible. If you take this third view, then you would realize, how easy all your decisions would be, how many options and possibilities you would see for yourself. You would never have problems in your relations and even if you do, you would take the responsibility to change it for better.
I realized during the forum that all the answers to all my questions were right inside my mind. I was just not focusing on the real problem rather and was just talking about it, just beating around the bushes. The power of being in the court rather than in the stands is, you start cutting through the crap, you stop worrying about things around, and take responsibility for everything, that you wish yourself to do.
Trying to change yourself, the people around you, and the whole world around you is something you possibly know can never happen. Because things never change. So how do you really see that bright light, in your life, where everything is crystal clear? Well here is the good news, you don’t have to go for a 20 days meditation course, and you don’t have to read 10 thick books from world renowned authors. No, all that is just knowledge and there is no end to it. Most of us do have a lot of it, but does not mean that they see things cleanly. So how do I clear the clutter and see through.
It’s just as simple as realizing that, you have that ultimate power to attain any goal that your mind can think of. It’s is just attaining a sublime faith in oneself that I have the power to do the things, that my inner craving wants me to achieve and this can happen at the spark of a second. Some people have already realized it and there is no looking back, no confusions and clutter for these people.
Your thoughts and your relationships with people around you make a big difference in your life. And it’s not the type of person that matters; it’s your approach and relationship that matters. It’s quite possible that a person that is nasty to everyone else can get along well with you, so if you have unhealthy unhygienic thoughts, acknowledge yourself that they are not nice thoughts. You cannot avoid them, but yes, accept that they are not good thoughts and quickly replace them with more positive thoughts .
You can just be what you are and that is essentially just you and nobody else. The things that you think are issues and problems might just be a perception. Just accept the fact that you are essentially a different personality and a unique creation. Once you find how much potential you have and decide to realize that potential you are already on track of an inspired and motivated life. You have added some passion in your life.
Create a clearing:
But then you need to stop looking at the past all the time. Once you accept yourself as you are and realize that there is nothing wrong in you, or rather you are one of those unique creations of nature, you have got rid of lot of clutter from your mind. Your confusions are over and even if probably you have not realized your actual purpose of life, you have set stage for it. You have decided to live life fully and get maximum from every aspect of life.
Once you have removed the clutter, it itself creates a clearing in your life. Just like, once a small patch in thick woods gets filled up with bright sunlight, as somebody clears the thickness of woods in that portion. Now for the sunlight to fill that portion, the entangled and thick woods had to be cut down. For any new ideas to fill your mind, the mind has to be empty to start with. You cannot pour coffee in a cup that is already full. So empty your cup. To learn new things, you do need to unlearn.
Now this does not mean that whatever you learnt till today was all incorrect. All your conviction and trust is false. This only means that, stop indulging in the past and stop believing that everything that you assumed to be truth is actually the truth. Instead start believing in self, start believing in the miraculous power of human mind and being more courageous, confident and passionate.
Start living your future:
Start living your future from today. If you want to be a good communicator, start believing that you are one and act accordingly. See yourself clearly as communicating effectively with everyone and been able to accomplish everything, that a good communicator can.
Visualize yourself as you always wanted to be, start seeing yourself in future. Stop thinking about failures in the past and stop worrying about, what is possible and impossible. The power of your mind, once fully exploited is such that, if you are focused and very clear on what you want from life, you would reach there. Create a clearing and base all your current actions based on the future, the way you want to create life for yourself. Find something that can become an essence of your life and would keep driving you madly, passionately.
Being a Child:
Always keep the child alive in you. Be curious, inquisitive, and ready to learn and ready to jump into anything.
Making distinctions and being aware of it, is very critical to living a fulfilling life. This can help you getting into the same old traps again and get some form of control on your mind. The way you do this is very simple, be aware of the continuous thinking process that keeps going in your mind. You tend to think that this background sound is actually you, but then you are distinct from this background voice. Many a times this background voice would discourage you, but then it’s your job to tell yourself that this is normal to get such negative triggers and that does not stop you from your course in life.
If this background voice is complaining about something or somebody, you have to take the responsibility and act accordingly. If this voice tells you not to do something you really want to do for long, due to strange reasons, you can’t justify, tell yourself, what am I going to lose, if I try. This self-awareness can give a great control over your thinking. Suddenly you seem to be actively involved in your thinking and in control, rather than some strange force driving your thoughts. Soon you would see you are doing it quite habitually and effortlessly.
The distinction about what are you doing at the moment is also equally important. Most of the time, people tend to act as machine and follow the routines based on past experience or some sort of response or reaction sequence. Have you ever noticed you started with a task, you were pretty sure it’s going to take 20 minutes and then suddenly you realize that, it’s more than an hour and you haven’t progressed much.
There can be number of distractions like you got a call in the meanwhile and it took more than 5 minutes, and then you might have stared at the computer screen for few minutes, deep in your thoughts and that might have consumed another 2-3 minutes, and then you just were pushing self too hard and in the hurry you were doing too many mistakes and that consumed some more time.
Now when you look at the watch after say one hour and see nothing much has been achieved, you would definitely get a bit upset. All this upsetting can be avoided using distinction. This distinction is making out if you are actually in action or acting to be in action. So if you really step out of your body and look at yourself, you would be able to see that much clearly.
Most of the time you are not aware and this happens subconsciously until you realize. When you start doing distinction, you are well aware of your presence, your actions and things happening around and can take corrective actions on the go. This thing can really give you amazing control on the way you work and increase your efficiency many-fold.
There is subtle difference between decide and chose. When you decide, you cut all the other options and go for one. But when you chose you basically don’t compare, you just go for something that fits your requirements. This is the place where you know exactly what you want, rather than trying to decide between things which are available. This seems a bit strange and difficult as many a times you don’t know what you want and then most of the decisions are based on available choices. While those who know exactly what they want, never have any confusion and no matter what it takes to get there, they are never confused about getting there.
Liberate your mind:
Fear is the projection of your mind and once you get rid of all fears you are powerful and free. Liberate your mind and you will see your life is more fulfilling. You have to embrace life, understand your soul, the real you and never get into a comparison trap. You never know the people you are jealous of might be more miserable and sad, because these are the few facts of life which are common and consistent.
You are unique and everything that you do is all about being yourselves. So spread the goodness. Put your mind in everything you do. Balance out activities and get really passionate. In the journey you will meet all your goals, all your dreams. Keep going and the fulfillment is a journey, it’s never reached, rather it’s experienced, it’s a feeling and one has to live it.
Once you have cleared all the cobwebs and got rid of your mental traps like complaints, comparison, accepted that you are human and the jealousy, anger, temptations, feeling of revenge, laziness are all human qualities and non-avoidable, you have achieved a first stage of mental freedom. Now once you have accepted yourself the way you are, it’s time to take a bit of control. And this control is not about trying to change yourself. It’s just being conscious about, what goes on in your mind, and then if it’s getting into any old routine, simply replacing those weak and ugly thoughts, with stronger and beautiful thoughts.
The cynicism around would always drag you into more cynicism and resentment. But then it’s equally easy to replace it with thoughts that make difference, thoughts, which are strong, thoughts, which are full of gratitude, thoughts, that talk about hope, thoughts, that give you energy and power, thoughts that would spread smile and happiness. Once you get into this mental state, where you are aware of cynicism as it enters your mind, but then it gets quickly replaced with quality thoughts and you can feel that mental health and strength.
This would automatically create a world of new possibilities in your life. The things that you said are impossible would become possible and the blockages, the unknown forces that stopped you from living life fully, being friendly to everyone, trusting people, communicating with anyone or taking any bold steps, pursuing your hobbies, passions, contributing to the society, being a motivation force for self and others, would seem really easy.
You would see more friends than foes. You would feel comfortable to share everything in your mind with the people around and that would also create more possibilities for you and even the people around you. Be always in this process of creating new possibilities for yourself and others and enroll people into these possibilities and make them moved, touched and inspired.
Be in court and not in stands:
Be aware of, whether you are actually in action or you are pretending to be. There are many instances when you feel you are giving 100% or fully focused, but the results don’t say the same. Be aware that, if you are in action, you have clarity of your goals and faith in your abilities, you can get the efficiency that you desire or even more than, what you can really think, you can achieve. When you say you are thinking not necessarily you are. You might just be delving into past or thinking about someone else’s life or just day-dreaming. A result of a focused thinking is always an action plan. When you really want to relax, make sure you relax, put on some good music, read some nice book, but don’t fool yourself, lying in the bed and saying I am planning and thinking. Probably you are wasting time on unnecessary thoughts.
If you want the results, be in the court and not in the stands. Don’t observe your life as a third person and comment on it as if it’s not your life. If you are doing so you are in stands. When you say, “Life is getting really hectic”, you are just commenting on your life. Ask yourself who is responsible, is it the employer, is it the government, is it the country, is it the economy. If you say yes to these questions, you are just finding reasons for the current circumstances. But then would that really help, is that going to make your life less hectic. You are basically treating yourself as a victim here and allowing external factor drive your life. You are denying the responsibility of your own life.
If you really want results then, be in the court, stop being in the stands. Stop looking at your life as someone else’s life, take responsibility and take every action that you find suitable to reach the goal you want to. Get into a commitment to self, think about the time span, think about the action plan, start believing in self, have faith in your actions and you would be able to see things much clearly.
What is really listening? Do we not have our fix way of listening? Do you ever heard of complaints like “My wife does not listen to me” or “My son does not listen to me”. Does this mean that the person in this context has hearing problems? Absolutely not. We do hear, but hearing is not listening. Our listening is judgmental. We listen to things that we want to listen to. We have these filters on and receive only that part of the conversation that you are interested in. Do you ever not get to hear this argument “I said this to you” and the opposite person says “No what you said was this”. This is something to do with listening problems.
So just get aware of this. You can’t put your filters off, but being aware of this gives you a capability to listen better. May be what you think the guy is saying is not exactly what is means to say. People have different ways of saying the same thing. The way people show love is different and don’t try to change that, because every person is unique. Get the real meaning.
I was talking to one of my fellow Landmark student and told him I have issue with time. I always think that, I have too much to do and too less time for all those things. And no matter what I accomplished, I used to be frustrated and sad about not been able to do as much as I planned. And then he just took out a huge list of his ToDos and said “look I have a business and this 100 item list is my ToDO, Do you think I can do all this in a day”. His simple technique was being realistic about what you can achieve .Life does not get over today. There always is a next day. If you really look at how much you achieved, you might be happier rather than looking at what or how much you could not.
Looked quite a simple explanation and I realized that what I accomplish is what I accomplish. I have been sincere; I have been authentic in doing my duties and tasks and have given my 100% to them. So what I achieve is what I achieve and that’s my best output. The peer pressure, management pressure is few things which I can’t do anything about. There would always be such external factors. What matters is first you be convinced about how much is achievable realistically and being honest in achieving that. It’s really not possible to convince others, but then create that trust and faith; you never have to convince anything.
I was sitting and wondering about the project, the unrealistic goals, changing directions, no clarity and everything that is part and parcel of a huge initiative, where there are too many unknowns. But then I said buddy, does thinking about it is going to change anything. So what are my options? Well, there are many. Either you get out of the project. You can change the company itself or you accept the things and see how you can make difference. How you can contribute and make things happen in whatever meager ways you can. Isn’t that powerful and that frees me from all the worries and concentrate on my areas of operation. It makes me more focused and strong.
Adding meaning to life:
The postponing and thinking about things never gives any result. So be conscious and keep observing how you react, think, respond. It’s so important that you accept yourself as you are. Start respecting self, be in love with self, considering self as one of the unique creations of GOD and seeing the things in a broader perceptive. Each action, each communication of yours is finally culminating into your purpose of life and gives meaning to your life. So nothing in your life is meaningful, unless you give some meaning to it, unless you fill your life with things that you love, the people you love.
Get rid of all fear, all inhibitions of failure and what people would say. Don’t stop, when the mind gives you a call and wants you to act. Listen to your mind, don’t hold yourself, and express yourself, give way to all your emotions, all your interests. Believe in your instincts, your abilities. Never be in doubts, you would always find a way, find the solutions. The faith and trust, the integrity and authenticity would give you the power and confidence to get to where you want to or rather enjoy your journey.
Authenticity, Integrity and Commitment:
Authenticity can give you power, as when you are authentic, you have nothing to hide. You are the same person, no matter where you are, and whom you are interacting with. When you remove all your masks, you get immense power, your mind is free of any preoccupations and you can concentrate on the real stuff, the real actions and all the clutter is out. Life is crystal clear and you can see everything at different angles. You can see more possibilities, you can start considering 10 more options and no matter what the transformation you got, you can get to your destination, immaterial of what path you chose.
Authenticity will give you integrity, when you have a feeling of complete and powerful. A person with integrity is committed and capable of every possible thing he can think of. With authenticity, integrity and commitment you can feel strong, powerful and free. The mind is much lighter and you have complete faith in self.
Another great quality that can always keep your moral high is gratitude. Be really thankful to every person in your life, who has made some difference to you. This can be in a direct or indirect influence. Right from your parents, your teachers, your friends, your partner and even the authors whose books have inspired you, the people in the history whose actions have motivated you, the quotes and beautiful poems that have mark on your mind, every small event and the related people, who have been instrumental in making of you as a person. This really gives you the capacity to inspire others and create more self respect.
You are the God’s unique creation:
Every human in this world is unique and if you really realize, you are completely different, than any other human being, other than you. This itself gives you such a tremendous power of uniqueness to you. And then every person has some definite purpose in life. Now this is looked upon as a very philosophical, spiritual or other worldly kind of thought. But then believe me this is the ultimate truth and you will keep stumbling upon this truth, whether you attend any spiritual seminar or religious conversation. Some people acknowledge this, few people just ignore it, but every person has this craving to reach to the goal where he/she desires. And this destiny, although illusive, makes the journey quite interesting.
This is just the blind faith that can create wonders as its self driven; it has its own definite direction and a definite goal as well. When your actions and mind are in such perfect resonance with each other, then the results are astonishing and you can look at it as magic.
The transformation here, is realizing that you have all the potential that you need. Realizing that you are unique and you have all the power to get what you want out of life. It is the ultimate faith in self and the moment in life, when you start taking responsibility of everything that happens to you and start believing in self. It’s like the matrix moment where Keanue Reeves starts believing in self and where everyone has given up, he makes unbelievable things possible. You have to be a bit childish in nature, you should believe in miracles, you should come of out of the “Work hard and work smart” jargon and see things happening effortlessly.
The stage where you are fearless, you have nothing to hide, your vision is crystal clear and you enjoy every single bit of your life with passion and energy. This is the stage where you stop complaining, you stop procrastinating, you are well aware of the priorities and even if you are doing something that you didn’t like to do before, you are aware, what you are doing and do have that ultimate plan to get to the stage where you peruse your ultimate passion.
This is also some sort of building emotional intelligence. These are the people who don’t have to wear any mask and their life is completely transparent. They have nothing to hide and they have no fear. Does not mean that they don’t have weaknesses, rather they have accepted them and believe that it’s very human. They don’t try to look good, when they are not happy. Here every emotion like jealousy, loss of hopes, sadness, anxiety are stages of mind and one should not suppress them. Be expressive in the right manner.
Few mental traps:
Get out of labeling concept. When you say “I am not confident”, there are these few moments, where probably you find yourself holding back due to strange reasons, but then when you label yourself, it’s difficult to come out from it. There are 10 other things that few others might hesitate to do, but you are very confident in doing those things. So now tell me who is “Not confident”. Just break that barrier, once and for all. It happens in a flick of a second and that moment is magical, when you feel like having discovered a whole new world around yourself.
Never postpone things as long as possible, Listen to your mind and go ahead and do what it tells you. 90% of time you won’t repent, rather you will be happy that you followed your mind.
We as human always tend to think a lot and try finding reasons for not doing a thing rather than finding one good reason for doing a thing. This is where being unreasonable can help you. Being unreasonable is not jumping from the 10th floor of the building or quitting job on spur of a second. Being unreasonable is grabbing the idea, a thought and making it golden. It’s not necessary that it would always give you result, but it would give you confidence for doing things that you never thought you would be able to do.
Rather than postponing some bright idea that struck your mind, just going ahead and jumping into it. A very simple example can be going ahead and talking to a person you have never met before, but you would like to know about. Or it can be volunteering self from the crowd of 100 odd people attending a seminar, when the seminar leader on the stage calls upon few volunteers. It’s as easy as it seems difficult. Single phrase “Do It” and sometimes the results can be really amazing.